5 hours without electricity

I listened most of the night to the wind howling outside. I woke up from time to time and i heard the restless nature. I also had bad dreams just before i woke up. The electricity was already gone for two hours before i woke up as grandma said. Then i dressed up and went down to take breakfast but i realized with horror that i can’t make tea or warm milk or make toast. Because all the devices worked with electricity. I got some white bread out of the fridge; it was already melted (remember…no electricity, fridge is not working either). There were some Christmas candles on the table. So i took two slices of bread and started patiently to fry them using the candles. Almost there…smelled a bit of toast. I took some cheese and fish and ate them. And some leftovers of chocolate cake.

My books are digital, the laptop battery does not last too long. But i have some paper editions. So for the rest of 3 hours i managed to read a book, on the couch listening to the parrots’ blabbering.

It’s so unsual for me now. It almost jammed all my daily activities since i’m used to a new style of life. And i used to live in the countryside where we had no electric cooker or any kitchen devices working with electricity. My memories back then started to come back. Grandma cooked eveything on a stove warmed up with wood, no washing machine and in winter food could be also kept outside, no fridge was needed. Me and my sister had plenty of activities usually outside the house. If there was snow, and there was a lot, we bild castles, we dug ditches, we fought, we built a snowman or we just took the sledge and went down the hill countless of times. Now there is no snow. And the electricity came back. Now i don’t have a paper journal so i’m writing on my blog, i check my mail, i play Wii and i chat. I read ebooks. Everything is E.

screw you and your contact lenses

Lately i’ve been bombarded with unwanted advice about how i should quit my glasses and start wearing contact lenses because (and here i quote one of the “experts”): “you look better without glasses”. Thanks for calling me ugly dickhead and go to hell. Whatever. Since i’m short-sighted and i have to wear glasses all the time, some decided to do me a favour with unsolicited advice.

Dear experts i say, why do you think i prefer glasses to contact lenses? Just because? No. I have actually tried contact lenses a while ago when i was young and stupid and i wanted to change my eye colour. Of course i went to the doctor and had all the business set up: consultation, type of lenses, instructions etc. I followed them to the bone but something went wrong. It took me one hour to get those fuckers into my eyes, i couldn’t stand them. I felt like there was something in my eye all the damn time and i wanted to scratch it violently. I didn’t do that because it’s not good. The scratching feeling faded away but not the disturbing sensation. The same week my left eye started watering and the tears turned into a yellowish slime, forming a crust around the extremities of my eye. I started having the feeling that something was behind my eye. The same day towards the evening the feeling became unbearable and i noticed that there was no contact lens in my left eye. No, i didn’t lose it, the damn thing was somewhere behind the eye as it came out in all it’s disgusting splendour when i was washing my face.

First thing next day i went to a pharmacy and told the whole story to the lady there. She gave me some eye drops and cleaning instructions and in few day my problem was gone. Since then i’ve never touched those damn things. I couldn’t go to a doc as my mom would have found out and the whole business would end up in a long and boring lecture on “i told you not to use those things and stick to your glasses”. I guess i was lucky i got away so easily.

So next time dear expert keep your damn opinions and advice for yourself. I’d prefer “not looking so good with glasses” but having both of my eyes.

museums are not playgrounds

I saw an article online which made my eyebrow lift a bit. This is the article and though i see its point i have to make some remarks upon it. In general, i agree that museums should welcome all age groups and should not disregard children of any age because afterall one of the museum’s function is education and all of us need to benefit from it.

However, the article seems to me that pushes things a bit too far, until a dramatizing point, i would say. The author complains that young children are not welcome in museums and museums are not trying hard enough to become more accessible for very young audiences. I study in the field and i am a heavy museum visitor and here is my piece of mind on the matter:

1. In the first place most of museums have free entrance for children under a certain age. The smaller the child is, the more likely you won’t pay an entrance fee. Now if you ask to receive anything for free just because you have a child would be discriminatory towards other visitors.

2. Museums have  developed facilities for a various kind of public nowadays and parents are more than included.

3. Museums have employees trained in museum education which take care of various activities for children.

4. Museums organize workshops, hand-on exhibitions which are specially designed for young audiences, children are entertained with all kind of games, some museums (especially open-air ones) even emulate artefacts for their young audiences to play with.

What disturbed me though is the assumption that children should be allowed to touch all kind of objects just because they are children. That is not a good argument and certainly not if you bring it up to museum specialists because there are well-grounded reasons why certain artefacts should not be touched. I won’t keep here a whole lecture on the touching policy of museums but certain objects are extremely fragile and even the very small particles of dust can be deadly for them. If you don’t believe me ask specialized conservators. They will surely elaborate more on the subject. It is difficult, time-consuming and not the least, expensive to take care of artefacts. Certain objects are meant to be under the glass case. I happen to have basic notions of preventive conservation and train myself in the field.

Museums need to keep a certain standard otherwise they would not be museums anymore but some other thing. If they become too child friendly they will turn into playgrounds. And that is not the aim of a museum. If you want children running around and touching everything then be my guest and attend a workshop meant for children. In one of my classes we discussed the necessity of cafes and relaxation points in a museum and one of my colleagues mentioned the fact that these facilities should have certain limits when it comes to cultural institutions otherwise museums are in the danger of turning into pubs/bars.

In the last decades museums have become very public oriented in my opinion but there are certain limits which have to be established. Cultural institutions have their own regulations and they need to keep a certain standard for their development and credibility in the field. And let’s not forget that the main function of a museum is still to protect the cultural heritage for future generations. The next time people complain about too strict regulations i should ask them to stop and think why those regulations are there. Because i strongly believe that those regulations are there with a grounded reason. People should understand the difference between an artefact and a toy.

trolling childfree webspaces

There is one thing which a while ago i was unable to comprehend. I am active on a few childfree webspaces and i have witnessed several times trolls aka breeders coming and throwing shit (bingos mostly) all over the place. Some of these trolls would go that far as to create a total false identity just to fit in the group, namely they pretend to be childfree until one of the moderators busts them up. And that happened more than once. So not long ago i was just amazed by this attitude: come in a place where you definitely don’t belong and start shitting all over it, in the hope that you will prove us wrong, shame us or the ultimate goal of the breeders – change our minds.

I thought a bit over the matter and speaking from my own point of view somebody needs a fucked up mind or deep frustrated attitude to do that. The first thing which comes into my mind regarding these trolls (it’s also available in real life too) is: if you are so happy with your life then why come and trash out my personal choices? The simple answer is that you are not happy and definitely my way of life has frustrated you. Otherwise you would have no logical reason to attack me virtual or otherwise.

There are very few childfree spaces on the internet and probably bilions of sites for parents or wannabe parents. Instead of coming and shit on my personal webspace why not go and enjoy yourself with some of the bilions of sites you have at your disposal? Personally speaking i have never ever went on these sites, logged in and start telling parents how wrong/stupid/idiots they are, how they will regret, change their minds or any other trash they throw at us. Never. I do not even visit such sites because i am totally uninterested in them. I don’t care about their lives. I am sticking to my childfree spaces and that’s it. Because i belong there.I never tried to shove my opinions down somebody else’s throat or try to change minds. I don’t care about the others.

Somebody who feels the need to tell me how fabulous their lives are and how wrong i am for not choosing what they choose, have a problem. Somebody who goes on and insults my choice has a big problem.

And serioulsy now trolls, what do you think you achieve by throwing shit at us, really? Do you think that we miraculously “see the light” and turn instantly into zombies? Give me a break! Your great achievement by trolling CF sites will be in the best case a ban and some shit thrown back from the childfree. In worst cases real identities can be revealed and the shit you threw at us might turn against yourself.

This post is valid for the real life trolls as well. Being a patronising and annoying ass won’t earn you anything.

Restoring a 60 years old chair (part 2)

So after leaving the protective paint layer to dry (at least 24h) the chair is ready for another round of sandpaper. This time a very soft sandpaper is taken and the surface is polished gently. After which a wet napkin is used to clean the dust. Now the chair is ready for the first layer of paint. After the first layer of paint is applied i took the seat of the chair for a closer inspection.

The brown textile which was covering the seat showed signs of mild to medium deterioration and smell of mold. Besides it was filled with dust and dirt. The upholstery was fixed with nails so i used a special tool for taking the nails out paying attention not to harm the wood. The wood was dried and a bit fragile and some nails were so well fixed that i did not insist on taking them out. There was the danger of splitting the wood and disjoint the seat. Under the brown textile there was a thin sponge which i removed. And under there was a green textile which was stained, smelled of mold and it was also fragile. I applied the same technique to take it out as with the brown textile. Under it there was a layer of dried grass.  Because of the humidity and the materials that the seat contained no wonder that the upholstery began deteriorating (the major cause being the grass found in the upholstery under the green textile). After the initial upholstery was removed i cleaned the seat with a dried piece of textile.

After that i cut a piece of hard and thick sponge and fixed it as the chair seat first layer. I attached it with special glue and cut the edges. On the sponge i applied another soft material and glued it in the same way. In the end i cut the final material of the upholstery which i chose it to be brown (a bit lighter though) and fit in tightly on the seat with an electric stapler.

After the uholstery was done i polished the wooden parts of the chair with the same type of soft sandpaper (180), wipe it with a wet napkin and applied the second layer of paint. Now the chair is just left to dry and the next day the golden decorations were carfully painted with a small brush which can also be used in painting. Finally the golden paint is applied in two rounds with a few hour break between them.

 

a joke who calls me stupid it’s not a joke, it’s an insult.

I was reading yesterday some articles related to the march called SlutWalk who was organized in various places. I was just reading the FB wall from the Romanian event and i was quite disappointed to see how many “males” started to throw shit at women. Again. I did not expect it to be otherwise though and i was also unpleasantly surprised to see that the march was attended by very few people, a fact which also received negative feedback in the press. In my opinion a march where a bunch of persons come won’t change anything. Unless the basic education changes. And that is not only about the attitude of men. That bothered me a lot. People always tend to just throw the rock first into men.And here it’s not about street harassment but the general attitude we have towards one another.

Looking closely at the problem i can actually say that women have lots of fault in this. Why? Because they are the ones who encourage these attitudes. You tell a woman that she is stupid and she will smile and more…she will agree with you. That is an attitude that has to stop. It’s not about sense of humour anymore. A joke who calls me stupid it’s not a joke, it’s an insult. And even more if it is propagated by a woman. I had the unpleasant surprise to read one like that which practically called women dumb on my FB wall…and written by a woman. And it’s not the first time i see this. I saw it in real life. Men telling jokes to women in which they call them stupid…and women laughing hihihi hahaha and nodding. How funny can that be? It’s not funny because between those jokes and seriousness is an almost invisible thread. I can’t count how many times i was called stupid because i did a human mistake and the reason of that was just because i’m a woman. I’ve never heard a man to be called like that. We are all humans and we all do mistakes but still i am the one who is punched with harsh words.

These jokes are dangerous because they promote hate. If women consider themselves like that then i guess marches like SlutWalk and all kind of campaigns are useless. But ladies next time when you are not taken seriously don’t get offended. You are the ones to be blamed for. Every single time you promote such jokes with your big sense of humour you throw some more mud on your image. Unless you take a strong individual attitude nothing will change. And no you don’t have to be defensive. Just be polite and firm.

I can give you an example. A guy showed me once a picture in which a woman was solving some kind of problem and the question was: why the woman is wrong? because she is a woman – was the answer. He practically began laughing and looked at me expecting me to have the same reaction. I didn’t. I just told him in a polite tone that i don’t appreciate such jokes and i didn’t expect and insult coming from somebody i considered a friend. He just stopped.

I don’t find it funny to “joke” on somebody calling that person stupid. I appreciate good jokes but not insults.

Restoring a 60 years old chair (part 1)

This autumn i decided to take a course in restoration of old furniture. The decision was actually based on the fact that i intend to continue my studies in the field and i really wanted to know if i have what it takes for the job. First i wanted to try a short course just to be sure that i like it and i’m not seeing a restorer’s work through pink colored glasses. So i started looking for a piece of furniture that could be deteriorated to that point that it needs restoration. So this is what i found:

This chair was produced around 1950′s as far as i understood from its owner and it is Swedish rococo style. It was kept for several years in a deposit where the climate is cold, dump and dark. Obviously the process of deterioration took its course and as it can be noticed the paint started to fade and fell off in certain places (especially the legs and the seat). The decorations are originally golden but because of dumpness they acquired a greenish shade (probably the paint contained copper). The seat shows also signs of mild to medium deterioration namely the brown textile which covers the seat starts to be fragile and it smells of mold.

Overall the chair is estimated to be in good condition and when the restoration work starts there is no need to pull the wooden parts apart and glue them back together because the chair is not wobbling at all.

First the chair is cleaned with a dry piece of cloth which does not leave lints and the seat is taken off remaining only with the wooden skeleton. Then with the help of a heat gun and a scalpel the old paint is taken off paying great attention not to burn the wood. This process is quite time consuming. After the paint is taken off the chair is scrapped with a hard sharp metal razor to take off the remaining bits of paint with special attention payed to the corners. Under the seat, the wood was not treated prior to the first painting and the paint was applied directly on the fresh wood. That makes it difficult for the paint to be scraped off but i did not insist on it. After the chair is scrapped a harsh sandpaper is used to polish the wood and the corners are scrapped for paint remains. When this is done a dump napkin is used to wipe off the paint dust. The original wood colour was dark brown in fact. After the chair is left to dry, the first protective paint is applied twice and left to dry for 24h before the first layer of paint is applied.

had a breath of autumn.

I thought i needed to see my friend who is also my neighbour from the dormitory campus and have a nice walk near the lake in the chilly afternoon weather and between yellow trees in the park. It was refreshing to talk with her about our problems which are more or less common. I had quite a harsh time in the last months because of these people who make unwelcome assumptions about my personal life and because i’m a sensitive person as my mom always seems to put it, it hurts me a lot. I can’t write here all the nasty remarks i have heard because i would burst into tears if i put them down and be forced to read them.

Sometimes it hurts me so bad i want to take the heart out of my chest and rip it off. It hurts when you hear all the time that you are not a person. It hurts when you hear all the time that your value as a human being is reduced to a organ which if taken out of your body wouldn’t make any difference because it’s not a vital organ. It simply hurts.

It hurts that when i find my balance and happiness somebody has to come and throw with shit in all that i have achieved. All my aspirations and hopes are hurled in the back and i feel small and insignificant. My friend told me what i have heard so many times: i’m too sensitive and i need to grow a thick skin. They tell me that but they don’t tell me how.

It felt nice to watch the nature fading. My pain is fading with it. And i feel happy afterwards. It is though weird how people dictate me how i should feel. It is not enough for them to dictate me what i should do but they feel the need to dictate me how to think, how to feel. The world tries to turn me into another ruined copy of itself.

But the autumn is fading. And with it there agressors who just melt into a moaning and muddy mass. And silence remains afterwards. I’m cured.

It’s autumn.

for “the young and the childfree”

So, you are in your early teenage years and call yourself childfree. I met so many cases of such people that i have decided to write my thoughts on the matter. I was also an early articulator of childfreedom, even before my teenage years. But i didn’t have a name then, i didn’t know i was childfree. I knew that i’m going to be the way i am now. But back to the young childfree. You’ve just broke off and stood up for your status. You feel invincible and steady in your decision and ready to conquer every bingo and set any breeder on fire. I tell you one thing: prepare to be disappointed. I will talk from my own experience now.

Yes i was an early articulator but all my bursts of “i’ll never have kids” were met with arrogant laugh and dismisal and the superior attitude that “you’ll change your mind”. I got that more than i count the hairs on my head, i still get it and i will get it perhaps until my 50′s (with the developments in IVF no wonder that women will be able to calve until they die). So young CF-ers prepare for a long, contless harassment of mind changing.

I can’t say that this statement is not based on the truth. How many times did you hear that x and y said just like you and in 5 years they calved and lived happily ever after? Because i hear that all the time. One thing though: the idiots who say that to me don’t take into consideration the fact that i’m not x and y. Ohh and the 5 year deadline. I heard it when i was 15, then at 20 and now i’m hearing it again. You will have to get used to it. They add the magical 5 until there is no more magical 5′s to add because you hit 50 or they FINALLY get your point (although mostly with strangers it’s unlikely).

Breeders will always think that you are just a rebellious teeneger and you are going through a phase. You know, teens are stupid, they don’t know what they want, they will grow up…bla bla. I got used to that because yes, indeed, most of the cunts of my age didn’t even know where their head was located let alone important life decisions. I’m past my teenage years now and i’m still called rebellious and apparently i’m still going through a phase. Never mind that the phase lasts for 2 decades now.

Since you are young and stupid there will come a time when the supposed biological clock will make you smarter, namely instead of brain you will think with your cunt/dick and from the breeder’s point of view that is the ultimate maturity. Usually childfree teenagers are less likely to be hormonal even in their teenage years. And now a personal remark: as a teenager i was completely different from the hormonal herd. I was interested in school, reading, culture and this nerdish stuff while the other hormonal teens were getting shit drunk and running around with their cunt’n'dicks on fire. So if you are out of the instincts driven sheepish crowd there won’t be any biological shit kicking in.

When i was young i just kept the childfreedom to myself because however i would put it i would get to the x and y examples. Even now it’s the same. I never expected to be taken seriously and never expect to. The only way is deeds not words. Because it is easy to throw out some words and then end up like x and y. But deeds will always speak for themselves.

P.S I even mentioned in another post about a guy who was very unpolite towards my lifestyle, swearing at me and saying how i will change my mind. Never mind that he is younger than me and has as hobby drinking and screwing. But he knows my mind so much better than i do *insert irony here*

P.P.S Have you ever noticed that when bingoes come up they refer only to your calving capacity but nobody ever mentions adoption?

other bingoes and lifestyle choices

It was a topic on a forum related to bingoes but now, not about the reproductive choices but lifestyle in general. What kind of bingoes do you get related to other lifestyle choices? Well, i decided i can give an answer here on my own private space. I get bingoed everytime regardless the choice that i make. If the bingoer/criticizer doesn’t agree with me than they have to pester the shit out of me: why i do like me and not like them because obviously they hold the absolute truth and nobody else. I’ll just skip the small buzzers and get to the main choices i’ve been harassed about.

1. My career. I chose MY OWN career but it seems that everybody who asks me what i do or what i plan to do come up with UNWANTED advice regarded my career. I’ve met all kind of buzzers: from the ones who tell me i’m doing a huge mistake to the ones who don’t know shit about my studies but they feel the need to express their unbased opinions with me. To be read: the ones who don’t know shit about museology but they talk about museology like some big experts. Of course i hear tones of bullcrap on every occasion.

2. I chose to drive a motorcycle. Lots of scholars came to explain me how useless and dangerous is to ride or own a motorcycle. Weird enough none of them have their motorcycle licence or own one. But they are super-experts.

3. I’m introvert. And i get buggered with that all the fucking time. I like to keep it for myself and mind my own business. Buzzers are continuosly asking me if i’m sad, why don’t i talk, is it smth. wrong with me, i need to come out of my shell, i need to change etc. You know what? BITE ME. You wouldn’t tell a fucking extrovert the same thing. I thought that personalities have no right or wrong. Apparently they do.

4. My hair. I have long, natural hair and i get questioned all the time: when are you going to cut it? for how long are you going to keep your hair like that? Bitch, i don’t see how the length of my hair affects you, so shut up. This goes hand in hand with my outer look in general. Because i’m not one of the bimbo majority obsessed with fashion i get buggered all the time: MORE MAKE UP, MORE SLUTTY CLOTHES! omg….

5. I’m not the typical female. So, to be more explicit i don’t get into traditional female stereotypes. This usually creates lots of restless spirits. I don’t cook, i’m not a doormat, servant, i don’t put the golden dick on a pedestal etc. I get lots of crap because of that from both genders. When people hear i don’t cook is like i’m burning their asses with a big red iron. Apparently these empty headed sheeps don’t get the fact that cooking is not bound to my chromosomes.

6. I don’t like to drink alcohol and get wasted like the majority of losers around here. I’ll never understand what is so fun in acting like a jerk, crap and vomit all over you. Oh, and have sex drunk…if you need alcohol to have sex than you must be reeeaaaly crappy in bed.